Limba engleză => Altele => Subiect creat de: ionika din 01 Noiembrie 2011, 04:17:12 pm

Titlu: Putin umor
Scris de: ionika din 01 Noiembrie 2011, 04:17:12 pm
::) ;D  putin umor....   

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip.  After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute.  “Well,

Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.

But what does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment. 
“Watson, you idiot!” he says.  “Someone has stolen our tent!”
Titlu: Re: Putin umor
Scris de: ionika din 03 Noiembrie 2011, 03:34:39 pm
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
Titlu: Re: Putin umor
Scris de: ionika din 04 Noiembrie 2011, 11:01:45 am
And some quotes:

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Mark Twain

Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
Mark Twain
Titlu: Re: Putin umor
Scris de: ionika din 02 Decembrie 2011, 03:42:57 pm

Raising teenagers is like nailing JELLO to a tree.
There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere... and let the air
out of their tires.
Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due.
Families are like fudge .. mostly sweet with a few nuts.
Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
Laughing helps.
It's like jogging on the inside.
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. :lol:
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.